fast 6:30

Successful fast 5 today! Actually, it ended up being more like a fast 6:30 by the time I got home and ate some food. I felt pretty good all day. Not hungry at all. I guess I was super carb/junk-loaded from last night and that's why I didn't have an appetite. Gross. Work was slow so I did a some more online researching on the juice cleanse today. I found a lot of helpful info but everything looked super expensive (home delivery and at home juicers). I ended up going to Whole Foods to buy store-bought Columbia Gorge pure pressed organic juice (which as on sale - score!). I got: (2) Just Greens, (1) Carrot Beet Celery, and (2) Red Ginger Limeade which should last me at least a day maybe 2. 

 As I was checking out I saw that they also sold bottles of and I really want to get those because that's a true juice cleanse line but they were like $10/each which was over twice as much as the Columbia Gorge juices! IDK I may get one bottle when I go back to restock. The White Cashew Milk looked really good.

After work I hit the gym for a long cardio session on my empty stomach. It felt really good and I had a tone of energy. Then I jogged to Whole Foods, bought a veggie wrap and a yogurt parfait and a zbar, then walked home. Good pre-juice cleanse day. I'll probably just clean, watch a movie, and go to bed early tonight.

fast 5 & juice cleanse

So last night's happy hour was fun but not so great calories wise. I had two "summer" beers and then chips, chocolate, and some other junk. Obviously, alcohol is not conducive to weight loss. Blah. New day so I need to get over it. 

Today my goal is to do a fast 5. I over ate yesterday so I really shouldn't have a problem doing this. I'm going go do coffee, water, and teas throughout the day. Gym after work. And then run go Whole Foods to pick up a HEALTHY dinner and some juice for my weekend cleanse. I did some research and it looks like Columbia Gorge Just Greens juice might be a good substitute to use for my cleanse. I don't have $$$ to do one of those home delivery juice cleanes and I don't own a juicer so I need to be creative here!

I'm thinking this will be my schedule: 

Wake up: hot water with lemon, coffee 
Breakfast: green juice 
Lunch: green juice 
Afternoon: fruit juice 
Dinner: green juice

I've never done a juice cleanse before so I'm not sure how I'll make out. I 
may buy an apple or something for dinner just in case. IDK need to do more research I think. I saw one 3-day cleanse that involved 64oz of juice throughout the day and the a dinner of protein foods. Maybe I'll do that?

mixed bag

Things have been going pretty well this week. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I hit the gym hard and did 60 minutes of cardio followed by 40 minutes of pilates. I've been trying to incorporate more HIIT on the treadmill (sprinting/walking). I did this every day a few years ago and got into the best shape of my life. But I also ate really, really clean back then too. Grr, sort of need to work on that. 

Food wise things have been pretty OK. I've been staying around 800-900 calories and have been eating all healthy foods and very little carbs (just veggies and fruit) so far this week. Tonight I won't have time for the gym because I'm meeting a friend for happy hour. This means I'll be drinking 1-2 maybe 3 glasses of wine or beer. I haven't had any booze since Saturday though so I think it's ok. 

The not so great thing this week has been my weight. I weighed in really high on Monday and I thought I would have lost water weight since then but the scale has only dropped -2 lbs. Usually, I can drop 4-5 lbs of weight/water weight after a weekend of eating and drinking. IDK. 

This weekend I think I want to do some sort of cleanse. I was thinking a juice cleanse but I don't have a juicer haha. So then I was thinking I would just buy fresh juices from Whole Foods and have a couple of those + coffee. Has anyone done a juice cleanse before?

back?

I'm thinking of coming back to blogger land and posting in here again. I took a break and tried to get my life in order and focus on other things besides weight/calories/my body/etc. That worked for a while, but then I undid a lot of hard worked and gained. I think I'm up +5 lbs since the beginning of summer, which is actually a lot for my height (5'4"). It's noticeable and it's driving me crazy. 

I want to lose at least 10-12lbs. I've been working out hard this past week (cardio, running, pilates) and trying to eat under 800 calories. I don't know if I should stay at this level, go lower (by incorporating fasts), or go higher (~1000-1200) and go the slow and healthy route. Fuck I don't know. I think I'll just stick with 800 for now. For some reason that number seems to work for me (usually).

double time

Wow it's been a while since I've updated this. Life has just been so busy. I took two final exams last week and I'm still recovering from that and catching up on laundry, errands, appointments, etc. I wanted to up the ante on my workout regime this past week, but instead I caught up on sleep. I think my body (and mind) really needed that time to unwind and relax after an intense semester. Summer is right around the corner so I really want to kick things into high gear. I've been having a rather fat and lazy day all day today. I got my period this morning so I feel bloated and crampy and tired. Basically, all around gross and disgusted. I've hardly left the house despite it being so nice out. Oh well, sometimes you just need these days. Tomorrow I will get back on track. I'm going to be super strict this week. Memorial Day weekend is next weekend and that's basically the unofficial start of summer. So, yeah, I need to get my shit ttogether. I refuse to be fat for summer. I want to be thin, taunt, and toned in my bikini. This means I need to do lots and lots of cardio + resistance training + abs + low calories. I'm going go take it day by day, week by week.

thank you

You girls are so sweet. Thank you for the really kind and supportive comments. I was nervous to post photos because I know I'm not the tinniest girl or the thinnest girl, but you girls made me feel better about it all. I'm still working hard and I'm motivated to reach my goals. I want to get smaller, thinner, and more toned by Memorial Day weekend. That's a month away! If I work hard, get my workouts in, and eat right I think I can get there. I just need to keep my eye on the prize and bust my butt these next few weeks. I'm mentally in the right place so I really do feel like I can reach my goals. I don't DESPISE my body, but I know what I want and I know I can there if I work hard enough. I need to lose the excess fat that's covering my body, particularly my abs, legs, arms.. actually everywhere. I'm also a bit self-conscious about my muscle mass, sometimes I think I'm too muscular (arms, legs) but maybe If I get rid of the layers of fat covering it I may see something different. Today is Friday. I'm determined to stay on track this weekend.

(photo removed)

I still have a ways to go, but I think I'm starting to lean out. I'm in the middle of 30 Day Shred. I couldn't do it every single day due to school (full time job + part-time school). Some nights I was able to get it in at 10pm, but other nights it was just too late. I'm still planning to do all 30 days, but it's just going to be over a longer period of time (maybe 40-45 days or so). Anyway, here is me at Day 20 or so. (I want to get leaner, and smaller, and lighter. I think I can stand to lose 8-10lbs)