Wednesday, November 30, 2011

quick update

I'm down -3.6lbs from Monday morning, which is what I was hoping for. I was hoping for a loss of 3-4lbs by today. I'm feeling leaner and my muscles are feeling "tighter." But, of course, I want more. This is only the beginning. Last year, I lost a lot in the beginning (water weight) and then after that the weight started to drop veeeeeeeery slowly. So I just need to be aware of that and be patient. Today is a school day. I've decided to do a protein shake for breakfast, salad for lunch, protein shake before class, and then chicken with broccoli and another protein shake after class. It's really tough on school days because I'm out from 8am-9/10pm. I'm probably going to be sick of protein shakes after today but what can you do. I need to keep my protein intake up. I've learned from personal experience that starving/eating super low cals just doesn't work for me. It ends up backfiring if I don't eat enough and then I overeat the first chance I get. So, must stay on track and stick to the plan.

This sounds bad, but I feel stronger and more empowered these days because I'm able to resist all these holiday treats and I'm losing while most people around me are stuffing their faces with leftover thanksgiving foods and holiday cookies and cakes and treats and are gaining wait. Self-discipline feels so good.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

game plan

I just finished cutting up veggies for my lunch salads for the week. I also marinated and froze some skinless, boneless chicken breast for some of my dinners this week. This detox thing works best when I'm prepared and when I plan out my daily meals and workouts. So here's the plan:

B: protein shake (120c), coffee (0c)
L: lunch salad (120c)
S: tuna on lettuce wraps (70c)
D: chicken (150c), broccoli (30c)

That keeps me under 500c for the day. I may add in another protein shake if I'm really hungry after dinner. I also bought 10c Jello in case I get a sweet tooth. And I have some fish that I'll eat instead of chicken a few nights a week. The tough days are going to be when I have school. Usually I eat protein bars and soup for convenience. I may still eat the soup but I have to pay attention to the carbs, sodium, and cals.

My gym days will be Monday (weights, cardio), Tuesday (weights, cardio), Friday (weights, cardio), Saturday (cardio), and Sunday (cardio).

My goal is to lose major water weight/bloat and some fat this week. Realistically, I know you can only lose about 2lbs on average of fat per week and the rest is just water weight. I'm only doing this for 12 days. Last year when I did this I lost 8lbs in 12 days. If I can lay off the alcohol I may be able to see similar results this year. Well, I hope!

false compliments

My post-Thanksgiving detox hasn't exactly gone according to plan these past two days. It's difficult to stick to a super stick diet when you are not in your own household and are around friends and family. I've been losing a bit, but my eating is no where near a "cleanse" type diet. I think I will officially start thing on Monday when I'm back to my own apartment and my own routine.

Tonight I went out to a bar with my best friend and her boyfriend. We danced the night away. I love dancing with her and her boyfriend is a pretty good dancer too. I *tried* to flirt with the bartender because I thought he was really cute. In case you don't know, I don't have the best luck with guys. I've never had a serious long-term boyfriend before and I'm always the 3rd or 5th wheel. UGH! Anyway, when I got a round of drinks for my friends I signed the receipt then at the bottom I wrote: "YOU ARE SO CUTE :)". Then 30-40mins later I went back to the bar and (after A TON of peer pressure) I gave him my number. AHHH! I wrote it on a receipt and put my full name and my cell number. Right before, he had given my friends and I a free round of drinks so I said "I just wanted to thank you for the drinks and give you my number. You should call me sometime." Smile, Smile. He then chatted me up for a few minutes and asked my name and where I lived, etc. He said he would definitely call so we could get together on his night off. I'm so guarded though that I don't even trust him/believe him. It was nice to flirt with him though. If he calls and we go out then great, but if not then fine. I'm so guarded that I always expect the worse anyway. FML.

As I was leaving, my bff said to me "goodnight, text me when you get home you are so skinny and amazing!" I was literally speechless when she said this. I don't know why she chose to say that I was "so skinny" when she could have just said "you're amazing". I really was at a loss for words. I just said "I will. I love you. You're fabulous!" I really wish she hadn't said I was "so skinny" because I'm very far from it. I have't been following my detox plan to a "T" and I've been eating a load of shit and not working out. So I am NOT skinny!!!!! Fuck that shit. Fuck false compliments. No eating tomorrow.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

post-thanksgiving detox

I'm really thankful for all that I have - my family, my friends, my health - but I'm not a big fan of Thanksgiving Day. I enjoy the family reunions and the warm, fuzzy feeling of this time of the year, but hearing everyone talk about the anticipation of that big Thanksgiving dinner and then WATCHING everyone stuff themselves until they can't move is the absolute worst. It is SUCH a turn off for me and for some reason it makes me angry. Why do people insist on gorging themselves every Thanksgiving? Gross. I had Thanksgiving dinner with my family and took a tiny bit of this and that so I ended up eating a regular size meal. I'm happy that it's over because it clearly causes way too much anxiety for me.

My plan is to do a mini challenge/detox! I'm excited because I'm in a good place and in the right mindset to do this. I did a 12-day cleanse/detox like this last year on the Sunday after Thanksgiving and I lost 8lbs in 12 days. I ate all protein and veggies. It was really boring but really effective. I also did weights and moderate cardio, which I plan to do this week. I'm deciding if I should just start this tomorrow or begin on Saturday. I need to do weights on Days 1,2,5,9,12 so if I start tomorrow I can get my Day 5 workout in on Tuesday before my classes on Wednesday and Thursday. I just don't have the proper foods in my apartment, but I think I can manage for a day and then go grocery shopping on Saturday.

I went on a date Tuesday night with a boy I met on Halloween weekend. We've been talking on the phone and texting and I was finally able to go out with him this week because I didn't have any classes! The date was fun. We went out to dinner. He's cute and tall and way more talkative than I remember him being. I'm not sure how attracted I am to him. This is really funny buuuttt also kind of awkward. So, we met at a Halloween party and there were lots of people and loud music and dancing and yada yada and I remember thinking that I was talking too much/talking his ear off. But I remember him being tall and cute and smile-y. So I finally see him again on Tuesday and the first thing I notice is that he has a lisp??! I'm still so confused because (1) I do NOT remember him having a lisp when I met him Halloween weekend (although I was drunk) and (2) I do NOT remember hearing this lisp the 4-5 times I talked to him on the phone (and I was sober)! It was so weird. I wanted to ask if he just got a Novocaine shot from the dentist haha. That obviously wouldn't have been very nice though. As the night went on the lisp did go away. I don't know. He texted me today to wish my a happy Thanksgiving, which was nice. And if he asks me out again I will probably say yes. He's nice and I have a lot of fun with him. And who really knows what was going on with that lisp thing. I think this is why I'm single.. I am mean and so hard to please. UGH.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

Saturday, November 19, 2011


i haven't been doing that well lately. i haven't been consistent. i haven't been working out as much as i should be. and as much as i used to. i've been eating more junk over the past three months than i have over the past there years. the stress of work + school is really taking a toll on me. i'm maintaining now, but that's not good. i lost a few pounds before i started school and i kept it off for a while, but now i think i gained it all back.

tonight i went out dancing with some friends and every time my crush touched or squeezed my stomach i cringed because i felt like i was fat. i don't have class next week because of thanksgiving so i'm planning to spend hours and hours and hours in the gym. the holidays are coming up and i don't want to be fat and spiral out of control.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011


I feel incredibly fat today. I’m wearing a new skirt but I’m so bloated that I look like I’m pregnant. I’ve barely gotten up from my desk all day because I don’t want people to look at me and thing “Wow what happened to her? She looks fatter than she did last week.” I ate too much yesterday and now I’m paying for it. So instead of going straight to school and studying after work today, I’m going home to change so I don’t feel so fat.

I can’t fall off now. I need to get a hold of this before it gets out of control. I hate this. Limiting carbs, limiting food, and upping my appetite suppressants.