breaking 120

Morning weight: 119.8

I broke the 120's!! I was so happy to see this number on the scale this morning. I know it's not a low number but for me it's sort of exciting because I was in the 120's for a while. Yesterday was good. I decided to just focus on getting back on track with my eating and exercise. I was really strict with my cal intake and ate mostly protein-rich healthy foods and very low fats and carbs. All in all I kept it in the 500-700 calorie range. After work I hit the gym and did 30 minutes of weights for arms/shoulders/chest/back, 10 minutes of sprinting/jogging on the treadmill, and 60 minutes of elliptical. I felt really good and was happy I was able to get in so much gym time. When I woke up this morning I knew I must have lost but I didn't actually *feel* much lighter. I still see a stomach pooch and flabby arms. After work today I think I'm going to buy a body shaper/Spanx just in case for NYE.

Today could be tricky. There are several things I want to do after work: gym, shopping, and visit my family. I feel so selfish but I'm scared to spend so much time with my family because I tend to go off my diet when I'm around them. I don't think I can do all three things. I HAVE to go shopping/run errands before I leave on Friday and I NEED to spend more time with my family because they're leaving on Friday as well and I won't see them for months. So I think I may replace gym time with shopping and just try to get in a lot of walking time while doing that. I really don't like when I feel like I don't have control over my time and my routine but what can you do. I will just have to be strong when I visit my family. More likely than not we're going to have dinner together which means I don't be able to eat my regular low-calorie dinner of chicken and veggies. Again, I just need to stay strong and choose wisely. I'm terrified that I'll be back in the 120's tomorrow :( Thursday I plan to hit the gym hard like I did on Tuesday. So if I don't make much progress today and I can make up for it on Thursday before I leave on Friday. I feel like I'm already running low on energy... must stay focused.

I've been feeling lightheaded on daily basis for a while now. It only occurs for a split second but it sometimes scares me because I feel like it means I might faint. I never do though. Typically what happens is that I'll be sitting at my desk at work or on the couch in my living room or even walking down the street and for a split second I feel like I'm swaying back and forth. Like the ground below me is moving. I'm not sure if this is related to my eating (very probable) or just stress/anxiety-related. Over the past few years I've experienced TMJ, teeth grinding, and even shingles which my doctor says is mostly related to stress. I had a annual checkup in August or September with blood work and everything came back normal. Maybe I just need more water...