It looks like I’ve picked up a few new followers – welcome!
Monday morning and back to work. After not using an alarm clock for 9 days straight, it was a real struggle to be woken up at 6:30am this morning. Oh well. The plus side is that I don’t hate my job and I actually enjoy what I do and the people I work with. Also, the structure of work really helps me stay on track with eating (or should I say not eating). I feel really “full” today. Like I have too much extra water, and alcohol, and food, and carbs in me. I restrict carbs (bread, pasta, rice, cereal, etc, etc) most of the work week but then “treat” myself a bit over the weekend (rice crackers, fat free Pringles, fiber bars) so by the time Monday rolls around I just feel… heavy. So it’s back to coffee and water and lettuce for this girl! I took a metabolism supplement this morning that has 200mg of caffeine. I feel AWAKE and not hungry at all. One guy in my office likes to bring in bagels every Monday. No thank you. All I’ve has so far is two cups of decaf coffee (I don’t want to OD on caffeine!). I packed a salad with feta (150c) for lunch. After work I plan to go to the gym to do 60-90 mins of cardio. My sister is arriving later today and I hope it doesn’t interfere with my plan. She knows I like to workout everyday so it shouldn’t be an issue. I’m just anxious about dinner and entertaining her. I really don’t want to go out to eat at all. It makes me so anxious and stressed just thinking about having to think about this stuff. It also makes me really anxious to have houseguests even when it’s my own sister! I just worry about how I’m going to “entertain” them. And I get anxious about having my stupid routine being interrupted. No why I’m alone and single. I’m so selfish with my time and my space. I like to be able to do what I want to do, when I want to do, and how I want to do. I feel too comfortable in my own company. When people come over and eat my food and watch my tv and use my laptop I get anxious and sometimes annoyed. And I hate that I feel that why. I usually always end up having a great time and always miss my family/friends once they leave. But right before they come (and sometimes) in the moment I get so stressed. #34534532 of things I need to work on.
Once my sister’s visit is over (she leaves Wednesday morning) I need to outline a plan for myself. If you fail to plan, you can plan to fail. That is so true for me!!
I used to be totally like that when people came over. It has taken years, but I am MUCH better about it than I used to be. I was even like that with my bedroom when I still lived with my parents and 3 siblings.
ReplyDeleteIt's good that you're planning to take a look at what you need to do for yourself ater your sister leaves. Giving yourself a little treat, or some much-needed organization time, is important. That way you have something to look forward to while trying to fight your anxiety with having a house guest.
Just try to focus on your breathing when you start feeling uncomfortable. It sounds simple, but it can sometimes save the day.
Best of luck!
I get SO stressed before people come visit me. The same anxiety and then once they're here, I go back to normal. Hope your visit is enjoyable!
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